vol14:

i just think that in order to be a good cis ally to the trans community, you all have to stop putting women and men’s experiences in one little box and calling it a day. every single one of us has grown up different; most trans men share the nuance of childhood as a girl, where the desire, at least for me, to be pretty and nice for boys my age, plagued me at such a young age. i know what it’s like to be cat-called. i know what it’s like to walk by a group of boys with fear gnawing at the pit of my stomach. i know what it’s like to be called vulgar, sexual things. most of the time i find myself relating more to cis girls instead of cis men because i’ve been there.

it’s not dismissive to say that trans women and men don’t experience the same things, because, surprisingly, we can have a discussion about one or the other without the apparent need to pit us against each other. misogyny is interwoven into both of our experiences. of course this absolutely doesn’t mean trans men or transmasc people are exempt from misogyny, because we are not. it’s just performative and dismissive to say we’ve never experienced that too because you’re afraid of misgendering us.

i don’t know what it’s like to be a cis man socially. i’ve never been called the right pronouns in public or mistaken for a man because i don’t pass. i still experience misplaced misogyny. i still get asked at family gatherings if i’m ever going to have any kids. and i’m really, really tired of cis people acting like i don’t go through these things just because on the internet, there’s no way to not socially pass.

yes, cis people can and should reblog, but don’t say anything. i don’t want a performance and i don’t want apologies, just do better because trans women and trans men deserve better.